The one member of Sarah’s family she still stays in contact with is her father, who she describes as her best friend and isn’t associated with her other side of the family. It doesn’t have to mean showing up during the holiday months, he says, especially if he’ll be distracted and potentially resentful down the road.Īnd it’s not all or nothing for Sarah either. “It’s saying I can’t see you right now.”įamily time is a core tenet in his family, but he says maintaining those relationships and showing respect takes different forms. “It’s not saying I never want to see you again,” he says. ![]() Especially because he aims to make trips out to see family, who are spread out across the country, during other times of the year that work with his schedule. He fully expects criticism from his relatives, but thinks his family will ultimately understand his decision is because of his passion for business. “I’m kind of giving up an illusion of attempting to balance these things,” he says. He knows being home with family would ultimately distract him. Sharma has found that he can get the most done when he’s not swarmed with meetings which peak during the holiday season. The 31-year-old co-founder says a “holiday calendar” doesn’t exist in the startup world. “And what they’re saying yes to is, I just need some down time for me.”įor Gotham Sharma who lives in New York City, forgoing the holiday season isn’t because of familial distress but a desire to have undistracted time to put his head down and work. They’re saying no to the process,” she says. They’re saying no to the hustle and bustle of getting somewhere … They’re not saying no to their family. “They really are just saying yes to themselves. They reinvent themselves in order to feel empowered,” Ghinassi says.Ĭhoosing to skip family for the holidays can seem harsh, but it can actually be a form of self preservation, Sheri Riley, founder of Exponential Living, a personal and professional leadership development company and author of Exponential Living: Stop Spending 100% of Your Time on 10% of Who You Are, tells Fortune. “When people individuate early and form their adult life, they often leave behind a family dynamic and elements that make them feel less effective. More than one in four respondents expect managing family dynamics to negatively impact their well-being this holiday season.Īfter leaving a childhood home, some people find additional communities, passions, and even a sense of individualism that aligns more with their values, and returning home can cause mental distress by challenging that newfound identity, Ghinassi says. ![]() In a survey of over 1,000 American adults, commissioned by BetterHelp in partnership with Material, a research company, 72% said they expect something to negatively impact their well-being this winter, mainly financial troubles, with almost half worried about their mental health this holiday season. Last year, a poll found people were five times more likely to say their stress increases rather than decreases during the holidays, largely due to the fear of contracting COVID-19, but also searching for and affording presents. ![]() “It highlights the chasm between what the world is expecting and what some people can give.”Ī pre-pandemic report from the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) found 64% of people with a mental illness say holidays make their condition worse. Frank Ghinassi, the CEO and president of Rutgers University Behavioral Health Care and senior vice president of the Behavioral Health and Addiction Service Line at RWJBarnabas Health, who adds that holiday marketing doesn’t help people already struggling. “We, as a society, need to recognize that some people are not feeling joy,” says Dr. Going home for the holidays is not feasible for everyone, whether because of financial hardship, to protect emotional well-being, or ongoing mental health struggles. “The biggest lesson learned from the pandemic is you don’t need to settle, and if people aren’t giving you the energy that you deserve, and even if they’re family, you don’t need to participate,” Sarah says. But by not forcing herself into an emotionally draining situation, she feels more in control. At first she felt sad about it and feared she would feel lonely. ![]() Sarah hasn’t been with the maternal side of her family for the holidays in years.
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